La-Quien Tales

DCurrent

Site Owner, OpenBOR Project Leader
Staff member
Hey all, just thought I'd post a story I wrote here and see what you all think. It's part of a much larger novel, which is itself the backstory for some characters set in my own custom D&D campaign world. Some parts of the may come out of context without a bit of world building, so I'm also including some of my campaign notes as well.

Please let me know what you think. Be gentle. Or tell me to jump off a cliff, it's up to you. :p

Campaign Notes:

Chapter 1 - First Meeting:

Training Day:

Last First Union

Blame Game

Breakdown
 
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Hi Damon, this is a good base for a roleplay (even maybye a D&D Rise of Warduke game like). Your world map is great too. I must confess that I didn't read the whole part of the scenario :) . You have Wonderdraft that can create some nice world maps : Wonderdraft
There is an awesome youtube channel for creating worlds that always impress me (sadly it's in french and I don't if an english equivalent ever exists):

With a lot of questions for creating an original world: is there religion, magic, weapons, who leads the world, relations between different races etc...
 
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Hi Damon, this is a good base for a roleplay (even maybye a D&D Rise of Warduke game like).
Funny you mention that. I used to run this campaign as an NWN server, and still occasional do in table top. I always wanted to make it into a beat em' up, and that was what first brought me to OpenBOR.

Your world map is great too. I must confess that I didn't read the whole part of the scenario :) .

I'd really appreciate if you did and gave me your thoughts. It's part of an overarching back story of two characters who in the present day haven't seen each other for almost 30 years. Valis is the main character, and orginally Chandra was just kind of background dressing. She was an NPC you got info from in the campaign world. While writing some of Valis's childhood history, she got a quick cameo of briefly saying hello and trying to get his attention, but he was too oblivious to notice and politely brushed her off. Nothing more than a quick establishing moment about his personality.

Then she grew on me so I gave her a bit more "screentime", and from there the character just wrote herself. Now she's one of my favorites and a vital part of the story.

With a lot of questions for creating an original world: is there religion, magic, weapons, who leads the world, relations between different races etc...
Yes. The world is very fleshed out, I've worked on it off and on since my early teen years. There are gods, factions, spells, and tons of custom items in the world. Races follow the standard D&D playable and Monster races, but I have a lot of custom creatures too.

DC
 
@DCurrent:
I've read all of La-Quien Tales. It seems to be more of a novella centered around the love story between Valis and Chandra than a game support for an RPG.
The 3 main characters Valis Chandra and Shannon are charming and their different characters are well transcribed. It remains pleasant to read and to see where all this leads ;) .
Why not a name party, it's original and gives a special cachet to the universe you have created.

I wish you a good time transcribing and sharing the world you have created ;)
 
I've read all of La-Quien Tales. It seems to be more of a novella centered around the love story between Valis and Chandra than a game support for an RPG.

That's a red herring - it's just part of the back story set about 30 years ago from the current timeline in the world. The two characters never saw each other again after that. Valis is the main character, and he doesn't use that name any more. He calls himself Shannon Luna (After his Mother and Father's first names). It's a long story (literally, that's the point).

Why not a name party, it's original and gives a special cachet to the universe you have created.

Valis is the main character in the story I wrote within the world, but the world itself is not about him or any single quest. This isn't Lord of The Rings.

Valis in the present day is now an epic level ninja type fighter and wizard. In D&D terms he's a highly optimized gish build well over level 40 (I played him that far in real life), so unless you start getting deity level threats involved he's virtually unstoppable. For that and other reasons, the OpenBOR game I wanted to make would be set around the same time as the chapter you read. That way he's a strong fighter (~lvl 8 in D&D) but still very much "normal" so I can give him and his allies plenty of lower level challenges.

The starting characters would be Valis, his brother Ronnel, Chandra, and three other characters named Kain, Dara, and Clubber. In game terms they'd look like this:

Universal Traits

  • You can pick up or purchase alternate weapons to use. Any character can use any weapon, but most characters are only proficient with a certain class of weapons.
  • Characters can lose their weapon in various situations (think Aliens Vs. Predator Arcade), so the ability to fight unarmed can be important at times.
  • Several characters are spell casters. To adapt D&D rules into a beat em' up but still be fun, spells aren't lost when you cast them, but they do have a cooldown period before you can use them again. Some spells take longer than others, and some characters may have longer or shorter cooldowns for the same spell.
  • Most characters have a universal cooldown called "reflex", required for most spells, and certain special moves. Reflex constantly recharges at a slow rate. Striking enemies and various conditions may also recharge Reflex.
  • Ratings are 1-10, and are an approximation. Each character has a lot of strengths, weaknesses, and unique abilities that set them apart, so having very high or poor stats isn't a full indication of their effectiveness.
    • Strength: Physical strength. Average attack power, ability to escape holds, etc.
    • Speed: Movement and average attacking speed.
    • Reach: Average attacking range with default melee weapon.
    • Hitpoints: Ability to shrug off or soak up damage - not the character's literal hitpoint total.
    • Passive: Overall amount of and effectiveness of passive abilities (seeing invisible enemies, immunity to certain effects, etc.)
    • Intelligence: Certain dialog choices and puzzles are easier to solve with higher intelligence.
    • Charisma: Primarily affects merchant prices, but you may also get access to more help, quests, etc. with better charisma.

Controls / Basic Universal Moves​

  • Directions:
    • Movement.
    • Double tap and hold forward to run.
    • Double tap Up or down to dodge laterally.
  • Attack (light)
    • Hold for a few seconds and release (most characters) - strong physical attack.
  • Attack (heavy)
    • Hold and release for a few seconds (most characters) - Usually a slightly weaker version of the character's special abilities but with no resource cost.
  • Jump
    • Length of press controls jump height.
    • Double tap quickly to dash backward. Most characters back dashes can evade attacks at startup.
  • Defend
    • Hold to block most frontal physical attacks.
    • Block precisely when an attack hits to parry. Parries work on any physical attack, from any direction, instant fill the Reflex Meter and usually give you a chance to counter.
    • Used in conjunction with other keys to cast spells and perform other character specific actions.

Characters​

  • Valis Yuan (Half-elf, 1.82m, 95kg): An all round fighter and genius spell caster. Prefers his customized arming sword, but can use virtually any weapon in the game at high proficiency, and knows how to handle himself bare handed as well. He is very strong, able to easily pick up enemies overhead and carry them around (think Captain America and The Avengers arcade), reasonably quick, and acrobatic. Most of Valis's spell selections are offensive like magic missiles, wind gusts, and exploding fireballs, but he has a few utility and enhancement spells ready as well. Valis's main weakness is his personality. He is polite to a fault, with an overly stiff and formal candor that works against him at the bargaining table.
    • Strength 8
    • Speed 7
    • Reach 6
    • Magic 8
    • Hitpoints 7
    • Passive 5
    • Intelligence 10
    • Charisma 2
    • Special:
      • Half-elf senses: Dark areas have larger "visible" area around Valis. Location of close by hidden enemies revealed with an arrow with an icon.
      • Armor: Stab and slash attack damage reduced.
      • Spell focus: If armed with a conventional sword (ex. his default weapon) Valis automatically uses the weapon to focus his casting (shorter/faster casting animation).
      • Spell Channel: Can directly channel certain spells directly into weapon strikes when wielding conventional swords. Lesser effect than a normal cast, but struck target cannot avoid and causes half the normal cooldown.
      • Brotherly Bond: When Valis and Ronnel are both in play, they will each share a single HP pool. This pool is considerably larger than both individual pools together. However, once the pool is empty, both brothers are defeated.
      • Unbreakable drive: Players may expends reflex to break any mind control effects and become fully immune to subsequent effects for a short time. Note, this means ALL control, even through the fourth wall. Valis will fight as an NPC while the effect is active.
    • Other notes: Valis is equipped with several techniques that require timing from the player to activate, but significantly increase his damage potential. As an example, holding A and releasing precisely on hit of his Forward Thrust, Valis will follow through with an upward swing that does high damage and can left enemies up for juggle combos. Another example is tapping forward on a successful parry will cause him to vault over the opponent. He will end by pushing them them off balance for subsequent attacks, or deliver a crushing German Suplex style grapple with a subsequent command input. There are various others. See his in game move set for details.
  • Ronnel Yuan (Half-elf, 1.82m, 95kg): Similar to Valis, but his melee weapon is a double bladed sword useful for racking up tons and tons of free form combos. Just like Valis, he can handle most other weapons with high skill, and is a competent unarmed fighter. Instead of casting spells, Ronnel uses psychic abilities. He can induce compulsions (like forcing an enemy to walk the same direction for a while), use telekinesis, and manifest some minor spell like effects. Unlike Valis's spells, Ronnel's special abilities use a conventional energy meter. Also unique compared to his brother, Ronnel is very easy going with quick wits and a silver tongue.
    • Strength 8
    • Speed 7
    • Reach 6
    • Magic 7
    • Hitpoints 6
    • Passive 6
    • Intelligence 8
    • Charisma 10
    • Special:
      • Half-elf senses: Same as Valis.
      • Armor: Same as Valis.
      • Mastery of Mind: Ronnel has a chance to ignore mind effects, and shakes off what does affect him in half the normal time.
      • Brotherly Bond: Same as Valis.
      • To The Last Drop: Ronnel uses a conventional energy meter rather than a cooldown. Additionally, he can continue executing energy consumptive techniques by sacrificing HP. Used HP recovers slowly. however, taking damage cases permanent loss of unrecovered HP (in addition to the incoming damage).
      • Other notes: Ronnel plays similar to Valis. His psionic manifests are generally a bit weaker than the magic spells Valis and others use, but Ronne's use of a conventional energy meter in place of cooldowns allows players to unload at will.
  • Kain Dampere (Half-demon, 193cm, 104kg): Kain is a half-demon necromancer who relies mostly on spells, with shorter cooldowns and casting animations than other casters. He can also cast most of his repertoire while in the air. Kain carries a rapier for melee combat, but is limited to clumsy swings when disarmed or using another weapon. He only has a few directly offensive selections, but as a necromancer he possess many unique strategic and control spells. He can raise zombies from defeated enemies to fight for him, insta kill weaker enemies with death spells, or siphon out life over time to wear tougher opponents down. He also has a lot of enchantments than weaken, slow, or debilitate targets in other ways. Kain is in no hurry to go anywhere, but he's surprisingly durable, able to withstand considerable punishment. Kain is also quite the charmer, albeit a bit haughty at times.
    • Strength 5
    • Speed 3
    • Reach 4
    • Magic 10
    • Hitpoints 8
    • Passive 6
    • Intelligence 10
    • Charisma 7
    • Special:
      • One with death: Fully immune to Necromacy damage type reduced and weakening or other effects caused by necromancy.
      • General immunities: Half damage from elemental attacks.
      • Other notes: Kain is slow moving, but has command teleports with a very short cooldown that he can also activate during jumps or falls. His run is a low altitude flight, and his jump is a long float.
  • Dara Undon (Human, 170cm, 63kg): Dara is an unarmed combat specialist. She carries a bow but has no melee weapon by default, and with a couple of exceptions, all she can really do with most weapons she finds is swing them around. This means she has much less reach and damage right out of the gate. On top of that she doesn't know any sort of magic,. Instead, her monk training imbues her with a lot of passive supernatural abilities. She's blazing fast - her walk animation is a fast jog, and her dash is an instant flash step. She can rack up multiple hits in a blink, is immune to poisons, and her stronger attacks unleash sonic cracks that can wreak certain enemy types. It goes without saying she's the best unarmed fighter by far, and doesn't have to worry about being disarmed. She's simple to play and the one to pick if you just want to fire the game up and mash buttons. Unfortunately for her Dara is rather brash and even rude at times, often undermining her good intentions with others.
    • Strength 5
    • Speed 10
    • Reach 3
    • Magic 2
    • Hitpoints 5
    • Passive 10
    • Intelligence 5
    • Charisma 4
    • Special:
      • Ki meter: Dara has a Ki meter that depletes (or builds) to 50%. You can build it to full by striking enemies. Dara's special attacks use this meter instead of a cooldown.
      • Immunities: Poison, contagions, mind control.
      • Magic Resistance: Low level and most mid level magic has no effect on Dara at all.
      • Evasive: Dara's dodge and dash maneuvers give her almost complete invulnerability to physical and elemental attacks.
      • Healing: When Dara's ki is fully charged she slowly autoheals.
      • Ki blows: Dra's attacks are considered magical type for enemy resistance. Slight damage boost depending on Ki meter status.
    • Other notes: Dara is designed as a pick up and play character with mechanics similar to many common fighting games. More advanced players should be able to leverage her withering, high speed style to great advantage.
  • Clubber (Ogre, 304cm, 400kg): Clubber is an Ogre who's real name is mostly unpronounceable in common tongue. He is a recent friend of the Yuan Twins who reformed after they spared him in a duel. As a result he lacks formal training, with no spells or awe inspiring special abilities to speak of. What he does have is cunning and experience, plus the expected advantages from being a 400kg ogre. True to his name Clubber wields a tree size spiked club, and easily tosses massive rocks or other heavy objects to attack at range. His style involves not just crushing swings, but strategic swipes and thrusts to keep enemies off their feet or whittle away the rare creature even bigger than he is. Ogres aren't known for their looks or charm, but Clubber has learned how to somewhat overcome first impressions.
    • Strength 10
    • Speed 5
    • Reach 10
    • Magic 0
    • Hitpoints 9
    • Passive 2
    • Intelligence 6
    • Charisma 5
    • Special:
      • Giant vs. Giant: Clubber can grapple huge sized opponents (other characters can only grapple large sized).
      • The Bigger They Are: Light and medium attacks do not put Clubber in hit stun.
    • Other notes: Clubber is fun for beginners, but he's really best for advanced players. His huge size makes him a big target, and his shrugging off lighter blows can actually work against him by keeping him on his feet for longer combos. He isn't slow, but not quite fast enough to flit about evading attacks. Players will want to keep enemies either very far for sweeping and poking, or very close or grabbing. The reward of course is a large powerhouse of a character that can bully most enemies and wear down other giants.
  • Chandra Westlook (Human, 157cm, 58kg): Chandra is not much of a fighter, fitting her gentle personality. She carries a small sword and shield and knows how to use them, but she isn't all that quick or strong, and she just doesn't have the strength or experience to use heavier weapons properly. All this said, she's a dove, not a dolt. Chandra's specialty is divination magic. Nothing escapes her gaze - invisible and stealthy enemies are automatically revealed when she is in play, and she's very adept at discovering in game secrets. She can also predict enemy attacks like Ronnel. For asserting herself, Chandra's spell selection includes a few direct offensive spells and protection enchantments, along with the ability to summon elemental creatures and other sorts of magical allies to assist her. Chandra may be shy and timid, but she's also curious, friendly, and approachable. Thanks to that and her beauty, she often finds herself favored by others.
    • Strength 4
    • Speed 4
    • Reach 4
    • Magic 8
    • Hitpoints 4
    • Passive 9
    • Intelligence 9
    • Charisma 8
    • Special:
      • Secret seeker: Auto clues for secret doors, hidden items, etc.
      • Diviner eye: Hidden enemies on screen are auto revealed at all ranges.
      • Diviner insight: When Chandra is n play, the parry mechanic for all players (including her) has much less strict timing. Chandra can opt to disable this effect if players prefer.
      • Diviner warning: Surprise attacks from enemies receive a marker warning. In cases where it isn't mechanically practical to mark the enemy, Chandra will get a warning icon.
      • Diviner Unraveling: Chandra gets immediate and more detailed hints than any other character for puzzles (ex. while a high int character like Valis will auto solve the pattern, actual implementation is up to players. Chandra will get implementation hints as well, so even random generated answers are strongly hinted).
      • Carries a Torch: Chandra gains a significant stat boost if Valis is on screen and at low hitpoints.
        • This boost starts by autocasting her shield spell (normally requires an animation and cooldown) for some armor effect, boosts physical stats by 2, and most importantly, halves all her spell cool downs. The cooldown continues to speed up as Valis's hitpoints approach 0.
        • If Valis is defeated, Chandra is heart broken. She instantly loses all the bonuses, any active spells she has fizzle and have to be recast, and she also incurs a cooldown penalty.
      • Loved By All: All other characters gain a slight stat boost when Chandra is on screen and at mid or fewer hitpoints. Valis gins a larger boost than others.
      • Counterspell: Chandra has an easy access command (Defend + Heavy Atk) with very fast cooldown that instantly shuts down enemy spells if performed during their cast animation.
    • Other notes: Chandra can summon a divining focus crystal to help her in combat. She can command the crystal to assume one of several formations (attack her opponent, attack strongest opponent, free AI, orbit her). The crystal has its own charge meter that depletes when it strikes or gets struck by enemies. If fully depleted, the crystal unsummons until fully charged again. While active, the crystal recharges slowly when near Chandra and he can recharge manually by spending a cooldown. Advanced players can master management to make up for Chandra's lower physical stats and then some. Try mixing with her spells for extra carnage.
  • Genar Denth (Dwarf 134cm, 92Kg):Genar is arguably passed his prime, preferring to operate his legendary forge over field work. Make no mistake though, he is a force to be reckoned with. Battle tested, gruff and wise, Genar has done it all, seen it all, with the prowess to back it up. He may not have size, speed, or spells, but as expected of a dwarf, he is tough as nails, able to shrug off blows that would fell an elephant and retort with deadly acumen. As a team member, Genar also brings a wealth of experience his more youthful counterparts.
    • Strength 7
    • Speed 2
    • Reach 2
    • Magic 0
    • Hitpoints 10
    • Passive 6
    • Intelligence 7
    • Charisma 7
    • Special:
      • Shield Master:
        • Genar's shield autoblocks light attacks.
        • Genar can move (reduced speed) while maintaining a block stance.
        • Genar's block covers front and back.
        • Can block heaiver attacks than others.
        • Can block some non-physical attacks (fire, electricity, etc.).
        • Fully nullifies blocked attacks (as in, hitbxes don't affect other characters that may be overlapped).
      • With It Or On It: Genar cannot lose his shield (normally shields are also lost if characters are disarmed).
      • Genar's Mantle: Genar's heavy plate armor reduces all physical damage.
      • That's All Ye Got?: Genar ignores non-knockdown attacks.
      • Slow and Steady: Genar is not affected by environmental hazards (i.e. stat reduction in extreme climates, slipping on ice, etc.). Because Genar says so.
    • Other notes: Outside of battle, Genar may offer players advice through in game dialog. He also serves as the training area supervisor.
There are other hidden characters as well, but that's the main lineup. Lucia is an obvious one. I'd probably have Shannon Yuan (Valis's father) and Shannon Luna (the present day Valis) available too. Either one would basically break the game, so you'd have to work really hard to get them. As I've said dozens and dozens of times now, this game concept is what brought me to the OpenBOR scene. Unfortunately, it requires sprite production that is beyond my skills or time to learn, but I always have it in the back burner for if and when my skills catch up.

DC
 
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@DCurrent: If you are patient, some good things will come. There are persons that know how to code and others how to make sprites.
Everytime when it's possible, I try to associate myself with a coder and I make sprites or small parts of code / settings.
I'm ok to work with you anytime you want.
 
Just added two more chapters to original post:

Blame Game

Breakdown
 
After bouncing around to different parts of my story, I finally went back and wrote the very first chapter. It's a first draft, so there might be some changes, but gets the call rolling. I'm also trying my hand at adding illustrations, maybe one or two per chapter.


As always, any feedback is welcome, good or ill.

DC
 
Chandra hits the books. I'll probably touch this one up a bit. Her face still isn't quite what I want, but overall I think it's an improvement over most of my work. Nowhere near what guys like @NED Can do, but I'll keep practicing.

chandra_reading_1.png
 
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Another Chapter, Training Day. I'm still working on the second chapter, this one will be either the third or fourth - the characters are still very young.


Valis_chandra_training_0.png


Any feedback is welcome.

DC
 
...
Oh, so that's how they wish it? Valis unsheathed his weapon and took a step forward. Some of the goblins back-peddled slightly, eyeing the gleam of steel and speed of his draw. No, wait a moment. He could afford no more delays, especially a brawl with nuisance creatures. Perhaps a spell? What a waste of valuable magic, but at the moment expediency outweighed frugality. Valis stowed his blade and began to concentrate. He had just the thing for them.

It starts small enough; little more than a tickling zephyr. The gentle draft wafted about his body as Valis cleared all surface thoughts, forcing his consciousness around a single instance of potential waiting in memory. Standing ridgid, he extended each arm to his sides as if to grasp the very air itself. Obliging his mental and tactile command, the growing breeze swirled ever faster until Valis himself was the eye of a personal cyclone. All in mere seconds. Ready. Aimed. They asked for this!

“GO!” Valis thrust one hand forward, his amplified cry echoing with supernatural force. And it did. Joined by winds from all about, the little vortice exploded into a furious, howling gale as it skipped across the lake. The spell “Tempest Efficacy'' inflected little direct harm, but was one of Valis’s favorite and most powerful by sheer scale, and did its job well. Tornadic force winds slammed into the hapless invaders, flattening a few, throwing the rest here or there, and buffeting all in torrents of sand and spray. Within seconds their makeshift camp was no more, most of it simply blown out of sight. Point made? Apparently so. The goblins cursed and threatened, but all the while making a hasty retreat. They’d come back eventually–they always did, but for now, Valis was free to do what he came for.
...

Valis_tempest_spell_1.png
 
...
Chandra stood inside the shower bay, letting the steamy water stream over her weary body. What a novel concept. Flowing, hot water, sprayed from overhead. She’d used this apparatus before as a guest, and still hadn’t gotten over the novelty. Before her life in La-Quien, she was lucky to get an occasional cold bath in a rusty tub. Now this marvel of ingenuity supposedly belonged to her. Just one of many things she didn’t feel like she’d earned.

How was she ever going to reconcile all this? Why her at all? She wasn’t aware of any other Yuan family members, but there had to be someone out there somewhere they hadn't mentioned. If not, it still didn’t make good sense leaving the estate to her. She didn’t know the first thing about running a baron-hold, or even exactly what she owned now. Dozens of staff and who knows what else probably depended on her, and she hadn’t even accepted the Yuans were gone. She couldn’t accept it. Just because she was out of tears didn’t mean the pit in her stomach was filled. Didn’t mean every other thought wasn’t a guilt ridden memory. At least the water was comforting. Maybe if she stood here long enough, it would wash the hurt away.
...

chandra_shower_5.png
 


Meant to put this in the original post. I'm still trying to work up a basic level of art skill, so I usually have to use a model of some sort. For the Tempest Spell, I found the closest thing - Andy's KOF Geki Hishou Ken. Basically I blew it up to appropriate size, traced an outline, and then did freehand modifications to get the look I wanted. Well, close as I can manage anyway.

Most of the the time poses like this have a blow back effect to convey a surge of power (ex. Ryu's Hadouken), but this one is different. Valis is casting a spell that causes winds around him to surge forward, so the blowing effect needs to be frontward instead. I made his armor by creating a custom pattern and then painting it with Photoshop's pattern brush tool. Lastly, the colors are done with a hard ink. Then I went back and used the brush tool at various flow rates (usually around 20%) to add shading. For certain parts, like the surcoat, I use the blur tool to smooth out the edges a little more.

The Goblins and debris are just free hand. If it isn't obvious, I only drew one goblin, then copied, rotated, flipped, and posed them to hide it much as possible.

@danno has been giving me some tips on trying to get better. If I can get to a certain level of efficacy, I may jump into working up sprite sets and making this into a game after all.

Valis_tempest_spell_model_0.pngValis_tempest_spell_model_2.pngValis_tempest_spell_model_1.png
Valis_tempest_spell_model_3.png
 
Kain Dampere. As mentioned in the game concept. This character doesn't belong to me, but is tied heavily into the world.

kain_0.png
 
Another remaster. In the last couple of weeks I've gained a bit more experience with electronic art and wanted to see what this one would look like without all the gaudy black outlines. I also decided to go fully into an anime look for her face. The first version was based directly on a real life photo, but I just felt like that went into uncanny valley territory when transposed to 2D line art.

I'm not fully satisfied, but I think this is much closer to the vision I was after. @danno has continued to be an awesome resource, so big props there!

chandra_reading_2.png

Of course any feedback is welcome, good or bad.

DC
 
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